Kitty Boo

Who the hell care what I have to say anyway?

It keeps me puzzled… March 10, 2008

Filed under: Life — Billie Jean @ 5:14 pm
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This is so deviant and enigmatic that it has kept puzzling me. I am truley so disturbed and perplexed. I haven’t mentioned anything to him about how I am perceiving it cause – how do I tell a friend that something that he has a broken heart from is abnormal.

The story is, I had lost a dear family member and expected both condolences and emotional support from my friend. I heard nothing from him until after a week had passed when he approached me with that his puppy had died. OK, this is all sad, I love animals myself – but he had the puppy for 3 days and my friend had been in such a bad shape because of it’s death that he had completely broke apart and had been laying in his bed for a week in pain and crying over this. On top of this he keeps its ashes in a urn at home which isn’t my problem or an issue just further adds to the disturbness. He couldn’t be there for me because of a dog he had for THREE days, this pisses me off.

This is not a child I am talking about, he is an adult of 30 years of age. And quite frankly, this scares me and that is a healthy reaction to me.

Is it me, am I being mean?

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Rest in Peace grandmother, see you when I get there. February 24, 2008

Filed under: Family,Life — Billie Jean @ 8:37 am
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Grandmother’s funeral was beautiful, I think she would have liked what we had arranged for her. We remembered the good times with her – before Alzheimer’s & demesne, missing her dearly. We had selected a coffin in a special wood that has come to represents the area where she migrated from, and was dear in her heart. The priest spoke of Kurbits which is a painting style and that she had always been painting (she used to have her own studio) & how it might have been appropriate that we would have painted the coffin in that style. Unfortunately was no other family member as interested in learning it despite encouragement from her. Relatives played the harp in the church and at the gathering afterwards. Grandmother was of the older times and music was played accordingly, music that we so often had watched her dance to and hear her sing. She was very artistically gifted, singing and dancing and painting is what she represented, it was her. When the funeral ended men in black carried the coffin to her final resting place and sunk the coffin down. It was too apparent to not notice that they themselves was of old age. This is where some of us took the final goodbye. The priest spoke something very beautiful of this during the funeral. How to us it may be hard to watch this but to her what can be more beautiful, loved ones following her to the last step, as far as we can, she eyeing the heaven from down there and people that she loved being there with her.

So now you are resting besides your husband, my grandfather. God bless you both. ❤

See you when I get there grandmother. I miss you.

 

Life is only borrowed January 30, 2008

Filed under: Life — Billie Jean @ 12:05 am
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It is 00.35 and I am doing my best to be the most utter exemplary up-stair neighbour. I hate leasehold flats. If I could have it my way in living arrangements I’d definitely have my own beach house, not due eventual respect to neighbours night’s rest but for my own comfort – not having to keep everything low on nights as these when I don’t go to sleep until 2-ish am. Why flats are not soundproof for everyone’s comfort is a mysterious evil to me.

Yesterday all the stress and anxiety I have been experiencing the last month disintegrated from tension to tears. Most is now over and can be left in the past (at least somewhat). The funeral of my aunt was last Wednesday and now my grandmother’s funeral is being planned. On the 22nd of Feb we will say our final goodbyes to her. It has been tough to loose two so loved family members (not everyone are loved) in 1 month only. One due doctors inadequate and one to old age. Mourning lost ones really do take time. I lost my father at 19 years of age but I did not mourn him, it isn’t easy to mourn someone who has hurt you very bad. How close your relative-bonds may be. Sometimes it is only by blood and not heart two people are connected.

 

I cannot figure you. January 29, 2008

Filed under: Life — Billie Jean @ 8:18 pm
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Logic says you just are not as good of a friend as I thought you were.

My heart says you’ve lost it.

You social skills are a bit off but to not wish condolences when a friend loose someone near is rotten.

So basically yea, I cannot figure you.

I believed you if anyone would always be there for me.

Through everything.

I just think you’ve lost it.

You’re lost.

Considering other recent aspects of observation also.

I guess you’ve just lost it and I need to stay away (from you).