Kitty Boo

Who the hell care what I have to say anyway?

It keeps me puzzled… March 10, 2008

Filed under: Life — Billie Jean @ 5:14 pm
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This is so deviant and enigmatic that it has kept puzzling me. I am truley so disturbed and perplexed. I haven’t mentioned anything to him about how I am perceiving it cause – how do I tell a friend that something that he has a broken heart from is abnormal.

The story is, I had lost a dear family member and expected both condolences and emotional support from my friend. I heard nothing from him until after a week had passed when he approached me with that his puppy had died. OK, this is all sad, I love animals myself – but he had the puppy for 3 days and my friend had been in such a bad shape because of it’s death that he had completely broke apart and had been laying in his bed for a week in pain and crying over this. On top of this he keeps its ashes in a urn at home which isn’t my problem or an issue just further adds to the disturbness. He couldn’t be there for me because of a dog he had for THREE days, this pisses me off.

This is not a child I am talking about, he is an adult of 30 years of age. And quite frankly, this scares me and that is a healthy reaction to me.

Is it me, am I being mean?

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Online friends making and chatting.

Filed under: Chatting,Socializing — Billie Jean @ 1:23 am
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I thought I wasn’t feeling online friends-making or chatting but I have come to realize that I somewhat do – I just don’t enjoy it with the flirty type of man. So I most preferably chat with other women than men (While in real life I stay away from other women because we are so deceitful towards one-another). I am not really into getting to know men net-wise who act with a flirty attitude, I’m just not up for it/feelin it. I find it is strenuous and demanding. I believe the reason to why I thought I wasn’t in to it even a bit is because that is the type of men I come across mostly while attempting to interact online.

Why do I feel this way? I’m not quite sure. Is the reason that they are such a pain in the butt reason enough?

 

A follow up March 8, 2008

Filed under: Family,Life — Billie Jean @ 6:24 pm
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As a follow up to the previous post I want to say that the reason to why she spoke those words probably was due concern but I still do not like that the base of her opinion is rooted a decade ago. And the fact that I have changed so much and am proud of myself, where I stand and how I live, and family being so precious to me – she did not think any higher of me than that. But yeah.. what ever.

 

It would be a good idea if you waited a while before you get pregnant???

Filed under: Family,Life — Billie Jean @ 5:25 am
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I do not know how other people function, but I am very different today as an adult as I was several years ago in my teen years. I have mentally and intellectually matured to a point beyond many don’t. I have much going for me, I am very responsible and have respect for myself and others. I am not in any sense at all naive and my judgment is very clear. I am sensible, rational, and logical. It may sound right now like am boasting but it is because I haven’t got to my point yet. In my teens I was very violent and in my early 20’s I nearly did not survive due lack of love for myself (but that is another story, lack of love is simply a sum up). So because of circumstances I met with a second cousin that I had not spoke with or heard from since back then, when my life wasn’t going anywhere. We talked and the subject of children came up, I said I have some things that needs to be taken care of before I can consider becoming pregnant (as I said I am responsible and believes living arrangements and such should be in order first). This is what I don’t like, without respect and doing any investigation into my life and me as a person today she blurted out that she really thinks I should wait before I have children. To me, that proves I am better than her (which feels good) because I know she do not have the intellect enough to realize what personifies a good human being. But I suppose that she didn’t have a good opinion of me do matter somehow because I am hurt by it. It is not like I care about what people think of me (trust how little I do) but I believe I may have a quite soft heart for family. It is sad but what can I do. It is not as if I would go to any extent to prove anyone wrong because I feel I don’t need it, I know what I am and that is quite enough. But I think when given the opportunity I will certainly correct her on that matter. You know.. it is so difficult to change peoples opinion on you, because they are stuck inside their box. On another hand I am not so sure that she is all that careful with what she say in general, some are not so understanding with other than themselves.

 

Rest in Peace grandmother, see you when I get there. February 24, 2008

Filed under: Family,Life — Billie Jean @ 8:37 am
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Grandmother’s funeral was beautiful, I think she would have liked what we had arranged for her. We remembered the good times with her – before Alzheimer’s & demesne, missing her dearly. We had selected a coffin in a special wood that has come to represents the area where she migrated from, and was dear in her heart. The priest spoke of Kurbits which is a painting style and that she had always been painting (she used to have her own studio) & how it might have been appropriate that we would have painted the coffin in that style. Unfortunately was no other family member as interested in learning it despite encouragement from her. Relatives played the harp in the church and at the gathering afterwards. Grandmother was of the older times and music was played accordingly, music that we so often had watched her dance to and hear her sing. She was very artistically gifted, singing and dancing and painting is what she represented, it was her. When the funeral ended men in black carried the coffin to her final resting place and sunk the coffin down. It was too apparent to not notice that they themselves was of old age. This is where some of us took the final goodbye. The priest spoke something very beautiful of this during the funeral. How to us it may be hard to watch this but to her what can be more beautiful, loved ones following her to the last step, as far as we can, she eyeing the heaven from down there and people that she loved being there with her.

So now you are resting besides your husband, my grandfather. God bless you both. ❤

See you when I get there grandmother. I miss you.

 

Plans, changes. February 18, 2008

Filed under: Plans — Billie Jean @ 3:07 pm
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I am going to innovate my home totally. I will gradually replace & restyle.

Prioritised to the top of the list is the case & the bed:

Then things from the below pictures:

After this I will tend to the electric accessories such as a flat TV, new monitor (also flat, ofc). HAven’t checked on this yet and before I will actually get it I’m sure the market is more fresh so will check at a later time. After that, shall a drivers license be taken. No more bullshit – time to DO stuff! I am however very immediately jumping on a course to prepare for the job I soon shall employ.

 

A cat that sleeps all day keeps you awake all night. February 10, 2008

Filed under: Life — Billie Jean @ 9:19 pm
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How great is it when it is 5 minutes till you go to sleep for the rest of the night and the cat comes to rub up against your legs and your realize you haven’t seen the cat all day? Why haven’t you seen the cat until now? Because it has been in hiding (as cats so often are) and sleeping all day about to make your nights rest a hell of a struggle. Would another cat (that makes two) solve some essential problems or add to it? Would the cats then have eachother to play with all day so they are tired at night and then sleep all night out of exhaustion or would you then have two cats terrorising you at bed time? A option is to throw the cat out during the days (it doesn’t sleep when it’s out, right?) but my cat jumps with fear up on the door trying to get back in so that wouldn’t work.